Men’s Issues: What does it mean in Therapy?
You may have come across therapist’s profiles that say they work with “Men’s Issues”. I wanted to help explain what working with men’s issues entails. First I wanted to state that men’s issues encompasses any distress or concern related to someone’s gender identity as a male. What that means is the distress a client faces is directly related to them identifying as male, this could include physical problems such as distress from sexual issues, mental and emotional distress due to socialization, or general struggles with how they define masculinity. I will break those down more but this is by no means a complete list of issues men face and I am only giving an example of a few common ones I have come across.
Sexual Issues and Mental Health
A lot of pressure is places on men to perform sexually. A lot of men get the message that sex is directly linked to masculinity, in other words, the more sex the more of a man you are. This message creates a lot of pressure for men and means that men can have severe distress if they feel they are underperforming sexually or are unable to at all. This is where mental health treatment comes in. Therapy is often focused on reducing the pressure men feel and giving men an outlet to express their hurt and fears. Typically the reduction of pressure helps alleviate some symptoms. For issues such as erectile dysfunction (ED), it is recommended clients start with a physical to make sure the problems are due to an underlying physiological issue. Once underlying physiological issues are addressed the focus becomes on reducing anxiety associated with sex.
Socialization and Men
Men and women are both subject harsh messages society places on them. This article isn’t about comparing but more to point out that men receive unique messages, particularly around expression of emotion. Many men receive messages around feelings that are associated with traditional masculinity and ones that aren’t. Specifically anger and calm being historically considered masculine and fear and sadness considered non masculine. The issue with these standards is that these emotions exist in all humans and they all play really essential roles in mental health functioning and communication. So fundamentally men are taught there is something wrong with their internal world. This leads to maladaptive and potentially harmful ways of trying to make up for their perceived flaws. Therapy focuses on helping men unlearn those messages, learn to tune into their internal world and express their feelings in a healthy way.
Defining Masculinity
Though there are common messages people receive about what masculinity is, all men have received some unique variation of what it means to be masculine. Often men are left picking and choosing how they want to define their own masculinity. Therapy focuses on helping individuals have a space where they can explore their beliefs of masculinity in safety while also being challenged by the therapist to broaden their scope. The therapist should help clients to explore from an objective standpoint that doesn’t push the therapist’s views of masculinity onto the client.
As mentioned, their are many other concerns men face that lead them to seeking out therapy for their unique concerns. This list is based off my (Alex Iacovitti) experience in working with men. Due to the vulnerable nature of these concerns, many men find therapy particularly challenging and may even avoid it all together. This is why it is beneficial for men’s issues to be highlighted by mental health professionals, because men are facing particularly unique challenges that make the therapeutic process challenging for clinicians that aren’t familiar with these issues.
