Anxiety vs. fear and why they are both valid

Anxiety and fear are often used interchangeably so I will start by defining the difference in how I will use them in this blog. I define fear as the emotional response to a perceived threat in the current environment. This can look like heart racing, sweating etc. I define anxiety as the emotional response to a perceived threat in the future. An example of this would be heart racing when thinking about having to give a speech the following day. Fear can often be easier to understand because it is very direct, such as there is a spider and I am afraid of spiders therefore I have fear. But anxiety can be tricky to understand.

Why fear and anxiety are always valid

Although it can be difficult to understand the origin of fear/anxiety, it doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. Fear and anxiety come from somewhere even if it isn’t obvious right off the bat (which is where therapy comes in handy). We don’t come into the world with lots of anxiety, it’s something that we learn from our experiences/environment. I like to separate them into two categories direct and indirect anxiety.

Direct – I was attacked by a tiger and now I am afraid of tigers

Indirect – I almost died in the hospital and now afraid of getting in a car crash because that can send me there.

Often people experience indirect anxiety and struggle to understand the origin. Often this leads us to interpret them as invalid and/or a flaw in us. Also it makes this anxiety more difficult to deal with because it is unknown and others may struggle to understand it and invalidate it. Often the result is waving it off, negative self talk, pushing people away and/or avoidance.

How anxiety becomes a cycle

Anxiety becomes a cycle when you cope with it in a way that feels safer but ultimately still causes harm. And example would be a person ending a relationship due to anxiety of being broken up with. The result ends up being the same as the anxiety and therefore reinforces the anxiety. The anxiety starts to feel like it’s existence becomes truth when in fact it is simply your bodies way of warning you to a threat and it is the reaction that causes the bigger issue.

Sometimes reactions cause harm to others

Another cycle that forms is people hurting people out of anxiety. They start to see themselves as bad people and believe they won’t be liked for who they are because they have hurt people, which again strengthens the anxiety. An example where this if often seen is in leaders. Some leaders may fear that they only receive attention because of their leader status which leads them to make policies that may keep them in power, but ultimately hurt people. This reinforces their fears and makes them grip on tighter to their leader status and push for even more power.

This is why I often try to look at the underlying anxieties/fears people may have that are driving their behavior. Often it helps me empathize more with them and also helps to pave the way for making things better for them and for the world as a whole.